“Kids today can’t concentrate!”
December 10, 2008 § 1 Comment
In what ought to be a series all on its own, the plus ça change series, this item from Life. Sept. 27, 1917:
THE DEATH OF CONCENTRATION
Who Killed Concentration ?
Concentration was dead, and all the birds of the air and all the forces of the earth came to do him honor.
“I,” said the Lady, “I did it with my social functions and my yearly trips to Europe. I killed Concentration.”
“I did it,” said the Highbrow, “with my lectures and reading and my uplift, not to mention my philosophical systems and vague superiorities — I was the one who killed Concentration.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” said the Parents, “but we reallly did it. We insisted upon having so many distracting things in the house, not to mention putting on more style day by day, that we were the chief, if humble, instruments in the hands of an all-wise Providence who did away with Concentration — we are the proud authors of his dissolution.”
“I did it,” said the Tango, “with my restless midnight spirit; of course I did it. I killed Concentration.”
“Which reminds me that I am the one,” remarked the Movies. “Yes, I did it with my cheap realism; how could Concentration live after I came on the stage? The mere suggestion is absurd. I accomplished the demise.”
“Pooh!” sang the Phonograph. “Wasn’t I before you? I started his death, all right. I guess I know. I killed Concentration myself!”
And then they all bowed low, and took a back seat as the real author came.
“I did it, ,didn’t I?” said the School System, and Concentration , rising out of his coffin, reparked posthumously:
“Believe me, it was you, all right.”